if someone is in love with someone, but the person they love is with someone else, is it wrong to proclaim their love? i mean yes it is wrong but i mean i can't live without this person anymore. i feel myself dying each day without them. but i dont want to make them unhappy if they are currently content. help? =(
Well… Unrequited love is a painful AWFUL bitch. But… so is being the ‘other’ person. If they stay in the relationship, but carry on some kind of relationship with you as well, you’ll always feel second best. If they leave that person to be with you, there will always be a nag in the back of your mind that eventually, another person could come along, profess THEIR love and then you’d be left in the dust too. Neither outcome is good FOR YOU.
I know how it feels to keep your feelings hidden away, I’m basically a pro at it. But ultimately, you can’t be selfish. If you really love this other person, you really only have two choices… One, you can reveal your feelings, but then you have to back the fuck off. You can’t be their friend, you can’t hang out, you have to just wait and the cards fall as they may. Like, I love you, so I have to be away from you now kind of thing. If they feel the same way, life will take its course and things will fall where they may. But if they don’t feel the same way, you don’t have to fake a friendship that will rip you apart everyday.
The other option is to sit on your feelings and be a good friend. If they become single again, you can use that opportunity to express how you feel. It sucks, it’s painful, but it is survivable.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my long life, it’s that the hardest thing to do and the right thing to do, are usually the same thing.